Black Futures (Interview)

Black Futures Band UK 2000 Trees Tour Gigs Ticket Interview Karma You Dig Riches

Black Futures thrive on chaos and confusion – and appropriately enough, this interview is going to get a little bit bewildering. Since the enigmatic Space took exception to five questions in a row, I changed two of them retrospectively using the benefit of hindsight and the magic of word processing. Both replacement questions are indicated using asterisks; the originals can be found at the end of this post.

Most of what follows is probably a joke. Maybe. I hope. Is it?

You’re playing 2000 Trees 2018, and it’s kicking off this week. What thoughts and feelings are floating around the Black Futures camp right now?

It is always awe! When you’re staring at all of existence all of the time, there is no other feeling.

But as far as 2000 Trees goes, we are feeling nonchalant, arrogant, putrid, joyous, but mostly annoyed. I mean come on – what kind of a question is this? Who gives a shit how we feel? We feel okay!

When you were growing up, which gigs had a real impact on you?

Yawn! Who cares if Joey Ramone spat in my eye in Oslo and it changed my life forever? Do you? I truly hope not. I hope you’re just going through the motions, asking questions that people don’t care about ever. Next time lets go to the beach. Close our eyes and just listen to the relentless lull of the waves calmly meeting the shore. People will dig that. Everything in existence would dig that. I dig that.

Where was your first ever festival orgy? How did it go? If Boris Johnson and Mike Pence asked you to invite them next time, what would you say?*

AHHHHHHH! No! just no!

It was at Glastonbury. It was fantastic; it may have changed my whole outlook on life. I may have taken mushrooms with a wizard and become an omnipotent being living in a void between parallel realities. So many truths we have lived together. I feel like we may never not be bonding right now.

Are you middle class if you eat carrot sticks dipped in hummus? What if you wash them down with San Pellegrino?**

I think everyone ever has read this in the NME every year since the human race started gathering in communal areas. No!

If an inebriated stranger were to ask what you sound like, what would be your response?

No! I’m a fucking omnipotent being. Just listen to the fucking music and stop asking stupid questions.

What happened at the very first Black Futures show?

Something tells me you may know the answer to this question. I am afraid it is a story that requires a little more drama, pomp and circumstance. It definitely requires illustrations.

In short: It was secret. The location was secret. No one was harmed. Everyone returned safely. There were blindfolds.

If you’re genuinely interested, you may have to find an eyewitness and interrogate them.

Do you have anything special planned for your set at 2000 Trees?

YES, most definitely. Everything we do must be a spectacle. There will be spectacle. It will be joyous. You will see things. It will change you like receiving Joey Ramone’s spit to your eyeball. It would definitely be less of a spectacle if we told everyone what they are going to see beforehand.

You’ve been playing all over the place recently – what’s the oddest thing you’ve seen during one of your shows?

A scorpion. The odds are really fucking slim to see a scorpion whilst on stage playing a show. There is nothing more awesome than communing with nature whilst playing “rock ‘n’ roll” with reckless abandon.

Which other 2000 Trees bands are you looking forward to checking out?

Great question! All of them. All of the bands! No favouritism here. Just all of the bands. All of the great bands. The Bands. We will be checking out the bands.

Once 2000 Trees is done, what are you up to for the rest of the year?

This is another great question. Playing more of the festivals. Checking out more of the bands. Making art to desperately try and avoid the demise of the human race. Enjoying nature, having sex, going on tour, eating food, hanging out with other omnipotent beings, going for long walks, making music, brushing teeth, visiting Africa, pushing back the rise of fascism, going off grid, downloading myself to a quantum computer, blah blah blah.

Truthfully, we will attempt to spread as much joy as possible. I hope the answers to these questions give somebody somewhere some joy. Because otherwise this was a complete waste of fucking time. Time we could have spent spreading joy.

What are you up to? What did you have for dinner? Do you like me? Are you truly happy?

*What was your first ever festival experience? How did it go?

**Any festival survival tips?

Black Futures play the Neu Stage at 2000 Trees 2018 on Saturday July 14.

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Posted on 11 July 2018

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