Rival Empires – ‘If I Was A Whale’ [Review]
As far as I can remember, I’ve never reviewed a tune twice here on TMMP. But I’m doing it now. Why? Because even though I previously wrote about it as part of Rose Coloured Records’ Doorstep – Volume 1 compilation, If I Was A Whale is worth the extra effort.
Any TMMP-reading Grammar Nazis will most likely want this track to be crap. Shouldn’t it be If I WERE A Whale? Well, personally, I don’t much care; although I have to bite my tongue each time I go to type that title, there are more important problems in the world at the moment. And Mark Twain is quoted as saying “Damn the subjunctive!” – which should really settle the matter.
Perhaps the most entertaining solution would be this: Line up the “WAS A Whale” group on one side of a live music venue; stick the “WERE A Whale” crew at the opposite end; put Rival Empires onstage; and have this track’s first heavy section signal the start of a wall of death.
I’d pay to see that.
Musically, this track evokes plenty of early-new-millennium memories of nights spent going crazy to alt-metal, dancing at rock clubs, and binging on McDonalds and Red Bull while my alcohol-loving friends begged me to drive them home because they wanted to crawl into a hole and die. It’s great to see a similar spirit infusing the work of emerging bands some 13 years later. When you live in a country that votes UKIP and shares Britain First’s clickbait on Facebook, you’ll take whatever hope you can get – and Rival Empires deliver plenty of it.
Whether you’re new to alt-metal or listened to Lostprophets since the days of thefakesoundofprogress and can’t stand their music anymore for obvious reasons, Rival Empires are so worthy of your attention that it’s almost impossible to overstate how much this is the case. This is one song; imagine what’ll be next…
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